Alarm clock goes off. You grab your phone and maybe scroll through social media for a few minutes and then finally get out of bed. You go to the bathroom. You get ready for the day, applying deodorant, some kind of body spray, brush your teeth and put your outfit of the day on. You go get some water/tea/coffee. You already have your phone so you gather your keys, wallet/purse, lunch, and work badge and leave. You work your shift which has varying tasks but they all seem the same. You come home. Say hi to the fam. Eat dinner. Maybe do a chore or two. Watch a little TV. Start the bedtime routine. Collapse in the bed.
Like most people, you can probably predict your day before it even begins. We have gotten into a place where a common theme in memes these days sound like “I can’t wait to get out of bed so I can hurry up and go to bed and do it all over again.” We get ourselves in a rut and find ourselves “going through the motions” every day without fail. This can get old real quick and it can get very depressing. The first time you do it, its not bad. It’s actually kind of exciting doing something like this, but the more you do it, the more unsatisfying it is.
You might read the above and be like “my life is not like that at all!” Some of you might read it and be like “Why is this being portrayed as a bad thing? I enjoy knowing every little second of the day and having it all mapped out. Predictability is nice!” Then there’s the rest of us.
What is causing this in your life? Is it a lack of contentment in your job? Is it a lack of contentment with yourself? Is it a deep feeling of knowing you were made for more than this mundane routine? Is it a product of clicking an app on your phone and becoming envious of others and what they are doing? Is it a product of seeing everyone post all the “perfect” moments on social media that makes their life look spectacular? Like they are always living in complete bliss and happiness? Do these feelings emerge when you consider how short your life is and just how many years you're set to do this? Does it haunt you to know that you may have to spend your best years doing the same old things until your youngest child is moved out and possibly having a family of their own? That you will miss being a huge part of their lives because you were doing what it took to keep the lights on? Have you struggled with committing to something because you don’t immediately see the fruit of what you were seeking to gain? Have you struggled with committing to relationships because you were not getting the respect you hoped? Have you struggled with committing to groups of people because you were not given a prominent position that you felt like you deserved? Do you feel undervalued as a person because you’re not the best at something? Do you get mentally wrecked thinking that your whole life may be this routine until your life is taken from you in a time when you are about to complete what you set out to do?
I am sure we have all felt like this. Moments in our job get us questioning ourselves. Moments in our marriage can do this, as can moments in parenthood or other important relationships like friends or extended family, but what can we do to look at the positives and maintain a positive posture when it comes to the pain of doing the same things over and over?
The only real promising answer I have is this: knowing that one day, it will be over.
I struggle with enjoying moments in life. I struggle with just being where I am right then and trying to enjoy it. My mind has a thousand tabs open and its hard to exit out of them. It’s exhausting. My mind is always thinking about the past and how I messed something up years ago or the future that seems uncertain and I stress about what kind of world my kids will live in. It is a hurricane of struggling to trust in The Lord’s providence for what has happened in my life and a lack of faith in what The Lord will do in the future. The beauty of at least being able to acknowledge those two short comings in my life is that though I lack the trust in the past, the faith in the future, The Lord’s mercy is new right now. In this very moment, The Lord is showing me mercy and grace for all of my short comings. What does that also include? My lack of contentment in Him as I seek to find contentment in my daily life. Without Him there is no daily life. Without Him there is no providing for my family the only way I can. Without Him there is no family to provide for. Without Him there is no breathe of life. I have every reason to trust, I have every reason to have faith, but my sinfulness often keeps me from realizing how good God is in the moment. This has been a battle for sometime. To be quite transparent, being a parent has put a ton of pressure on me and I constantly feel like I’m failing. I am prayerful that God draws my kids to Christ and that they can find a refuge in The Father to be everything their earthly father failed to be. I know I am not alone in this and do not mistake this for fishing for assurance. I am very self aware, but I also know that Almighty God will always fill any voids I have, any voids my wife has, any voids my kids have, and any voids anyone has.
Take a moment today to sit with a cup of coffee and just think about the moment you have been blessed with. Decompress and realize a lot of the things you find yourself caring about, no one else is thinking about. The people on your social media feed is likely not thinking about you because they are thinking about themselves or their family. The people at your job are likely not thinking about you, and if they are, it’s either in their own pride or to mask their own flaws.
Look around and feel blessed that you are who you are, you’re where you’re supposed to be, and its all for your good and His glory.
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