Masculinity: Toxicity Is Subjective

You give up your pleasures and desires, so that you can provide for others and ensure they are pursuing their passion using their abilities and talents.

You value the importance of motherhood, so that your children can have a great childhood.

You do not put much stock into physical appearances, because you know beauty is fleeting and the heart of the person is where authentic beauty radiates.

You put away child-like desires, so you can pursue tasks that benefit others instead of gratifying yourself. 

You are sickened by living two lives, so that who you are in private matches who you are in public and there is no chance of anyone speaking one way about you and other having a different story.

You speak out against evil, so that you do your part to maintain balance with the hopes of tipping the scales a little closer to peace than peril.

You gain knowledge and speak in wisdom and patience, so that when you finally speak up it is easier for others to tune out the clanging cymbals of media and busy bodies. 

You pick your battles, so that when you die on a hill it is likely one worth being buried on.

You learn to lead and you lead well, so that others know they can trust you and can see the example you have set instead of simply hear the words you have said.

You carry the weight of providing for your family on your shoulders, so that your family can thrive in all of life and know they can trust you when things get difficult. 

You develop physical strength and fitness, so that you can live long enough to ensure everyone in your family and community will be protected at all cost until they are able to be a force of protection themselves.

You become disciplined in all aspects of life, so that no matter what is going on you know your purpose is to move forward and hold the line and nothing will keep you from doing that.

You set yourself on a path to become financially free, so that when times get hard and money is tight, life is a minor inconvenience instead of a major catastrophe. 

You value time and manage it well, so you can learn the true blessing of the most precious resource in your life and prioritize in a way that encourages others to follow suit. 

You understand the importance of self control, so that you know when is the right time to react and how to appropriately react.

You gain a sense of gratitude and express it daily, so that you never forget what you have and how undeserving and blessed you are to have it which will lead to greater joy in life.

You build up others around you and put them before yourself, so that those in your life understand the care you have for them and know they will never be alone because you are there.

You work and you work to the absolute best of your ability, so that others can be comforted knowing things will get done and get done right when you are there or when you are helping them.

You learn skills useful for this life, so that when someone needs help you are there to provide necessary knowledge that they can then pass on and make your community and the future a little bit better.

You understand your position before holy God, so that you never assume you are the standard of what a person should be and always assume that you could either be wrong or be better, and you can know that no matter how undeserving you are of His grace He will freely give it to you.

You herald Truth above all things, so that The Lord is your banner and He is your example.

You are masculine, so that some may say your incredibly toxic but those around you know you are wonderfully nutric.

You can look at this list and feel the weight of who you were made to be. Your response can either be inspired and encourage, or overwhelmed and inadequate. It's okay to be both. I too am overwhelmed at the responsibility I have as the man of my home. I often fail and I often fall short of who I was made to be and what I was made to do. I am also encouraged when I see this list because I know that I am not walking alone. I have the power of God at my disposal and the fellowship of like-minded brothers walking with me. Some may say this is toxic, but in a day where toxicity is subjective, we are forced to ask the question, "What are my motives?" And if your answer is simply "To better myself," then you are actually running the risk of being toxic. If your answer is "To not only better myself, but first and foremost to better my family, friends, community, world, and the future," then your heart is likely in a good place. When you do things for the sake of loving others, it will intrinsically better you as well. At the end of the day, when you feel like being a jerk to make your point is the way to go, reevaluate. You don't have to comment on every post you see is false. You don't have to engage in social media arguments. You don't have to give a commentary on someone else's gossip. All you have to do is keep your head up and move forward. When Christ was being questioned before Herod, He felt it best not to build His case before Herod because He knew Herod would not listen or comprehend what He was saying. We would often be better off if we did the same thing. When we are mocked and ridiculed, it is easier to stand there an take it and be sent away with dignity and integrity than it is build a case and be made a fool. Some will say that's toxic, but I say that is wise. Remember that people who label others as toxic will hardly, if ever say they themselves are toxic. They are not the standard and neither are you. Don't lose sight of that truth.

Be the man you would look up to, not the man someone else would look over.