I was recently asked “What do times of abundance teach us about contentment?” The heart of the question came from wanting to have tangible ways we can develop contentment. After fleshing out some thoughts, this is the response I got:
“I know you’re a dude who abounds, so I wanted to know what you’ve learned in abounding.”
Let me preface all of this with a few things for context. I am married and we have five kids. We live in a three bedroom/two bathroom 1200 square foot home in a rural area. I work a less than satisfying job that pays well as well as being generous in overtime hours while my wife is a stay at home mother who is a phenomenal house keeper as well as an educator to our kids who are homeschooled. I drive a 2004 Ford pick up truck that is rusting out rapidly with plenty of mechanical issues. We recently bought a foreclosed house after selling our last house (which was also a foreclosed house) and as a result we own it out right.
Why is all of this important? Before diving into what I have learned about money and how “abounding” can give you very teachable lessons, I wanted to let you know that my situation is not some lavish lifestyle like I am the wolf of wall street and just blow my nose on Benjamins all day. If you wanted to travel back with me in time to when my wife and I first got married, you would see the hard work and dedication we have put into getting to this point over the last 9+ years. From me working three different jobs (one full time and 2 part time) throughout the week and my wife working at three different offices throughout the week, all the way to leaving our hometown to be with our church family and buying a house that needed plenty of work and a baby on the way that put every day into a crunch time.
I want the context of this to be from the understanding of hard work, sacrifice, dedication, teamwork, and setting goals. What I hope this doesn’t portray is a pie in the sky type of mentality that came from luck or chance. This is a classic case of “luck favors those who work hard.” Is there an element of God blessing us in ways we wouldn’t have imagined? Yes. But those opportunities didn’t just fall from the sky without some kind of diligence and dedication to serve Him. I don’t want to issue any discouragement that would make someone say “must be nice” or “i’ll never get there.” If anything, I want you to see that finances can be an avenue to give you peace in one arena of life, obviously the financial arena, but it does not give you true and lasting peace.
I’ve learned that it’s not as easy to rely on The Lord when you are abounding. We are far more likely to lean on our own self sufficiency than we are to go to God for help and provision. When our bank accounts (or even our debt) give us anything we want, why would we ask God for daily bread if we are perfectly capable of buying the store out of Butternut? Galatians 3:3
I’ve learned that you have a higher disadvantage at truly understanding the difference between wants and needs. How many winter coats do you need if you can only wear one at a time? Did we need the coat because all we have is a long sleeve flannel in the dead of winter, or is it because it might look good with a particular handful of outfits? Luke 12:16-21 and 1 John 3:17
I’ve learned that money can cause division in the most precious of relationships. If you are killing the money game, there is a chance that one of two things might sneak up and attempt to sabotage a solid relationship.
1) It’s easy to brag and boast and think your doing it humbly when you are actually seeking the praise of man or a certain reaction of approval far and beyond what a normal reaction would be. When you don’t get it, you fall into a snare of lies that almost convince you that they don’t want you to win or that they do not care about the success of their friends so now there’s no need to keep those kind of people close because you “don’t need that kinda energy in your life.” 2) It’s easy for people to whisper in corners and say things like “must be nice” and similar jabs of jealous and envy. It can also cause people to resent you for celebrating milestones or cause dear friends to accuse you of leading the wrong life because you have set goals and working towards them. None of this comes from a place of disdain for the people succeeding, it just comes from a desire of wanting it to be “us” who is celebrating instead of struggling and stressing. Side note: Most of the time, people aren’t so much against you as much as they are for themselves. Might dive into that a little more another time. Matthew 22:39
I’ve learned that you have to make a choice between time or money. You’ve heard it said that time is money, but that is not accurate as far as I can see. One resource is more precious to you than the other, and if you have an abundance of one, you will likely desire the other. If you don’t have the money to give you ease in raising and providing for your family, you likely have the time with them on a regular basis to create a solid routine with them and even do extra curricular activities like sports on a regular basis. If you don’t have the time to create the routine you’d like with them, you likely have the money to ensure they are well taken care of and have not had to see any struggle, and may even get to do more fun stuff more freely when you find holes in your schedule. 1 Peter 4:7-11
I’ve learned that being debt free, with no mortgage, no car payment, no student loans, plenty of life insurance, and all your ducks in a row at a young age is a great goal to aspire for, but it will absolutely not give you the lasting satisfaction you would expect it to bring. After 9 years, we accomplished this very task and it was something my wife and I worked on for basically all of our marriage. I remember making the final payment on our mortgage and being excited, but it was the most anticlimactic experience of my life. It felt like I had just made another payment and went on. I had been so wrapped up in making payments and setting goals that I lost sight of the journey and progress that was being made. I lost sight of how insane it was to be in this moment as a 32 year old man on a single income and providing for my family. I expected it to be the equivalent of being 400 pounds and in a matter of months being down to 250. It was not exciting. It was not welcomed with enormous amount of praise from friends and family. I didn’t get any type of physical and visible reward that I thought I would get (and why I thought that would happen was me being completely oblivious) and it was not welcomed with “dude, what a beast! You killed it! That is quite the accomplishment and you are the only person I know that has achieved such success.” If you’ve ever seen Wreck It Ralph, it’s exactly like what he thought would happen when he won his medal and how everyone would respond once he did. Whatever presupposition I had about what it would be like was completely shattered. The Lord definitely helped me see the idolatry I had for this goal and how crazy it was to believe it would bring me peace. Did it bring financial peace? Absolutely. But the true lasting peace that would solve all of my problems and allow me to relax? Not even close. Matthew 6:1
Which leads me into what I will make my last point.
I’ve learned that in my sinful flesh, even when one of the greatest goals I’ve ever set has now been completed, my heart will still chase after more and contentment is not what we may think it is. I owned all I had at that point and owed no one anything. The issue is that more things came up that pulled at my desire to get more stuff. Now that I was debt free, I need to save up for a brand new car so that my mind can be at ease about the reliability of vehicle. Actually, two new cars that will be nice and last for awhile. I need a bigger house for me and my family that will cost three times as much as the one I am in now so that my mind can be at peace with where I live and the situation my kids grow up in. The list can go on and on, and these things are NOT evil things, they are just evidences of how our heart is so bent toward covetousness and the things we don’t have that we often look past all the things we have been blessed with already. Contentment is not the peace we will have once we have the things we desire. Contentment is being completely satisfied and at absolute peace with what we have and where we are right now. Hebrews 13:5
When we truly take a look at the phrase “Your grace is enough” (2 Corinthians 12:9) yet we constantly “chase after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:14) of all the “vanity” (Ecclesiastes 1:2) in this life, are we processing with out life that His grace truly enough? The grace that has blessed you with life in your lungs and veins. The grace that has given you a loving family and wonderful friends. The grace that has given you all that you have needed up to this point and likely much much more. Ultimately, the grace that has offered the free gift of eternal life in Christ (Ecclesiastes 5:10).
The life of abundance is a great aspiration to have, but it is not worth losing your soul over. Let us truly take a look at what Paul says in Philippians 4 and what he means when he said he was content with abundance and content with nothing. Though he said he had nothing, he had all he ever needed in Christ and the provision of the Creator of all things.
Ask yourself: Am I content? I am not talking about just in this moment, but in all of life. Am I at complete peace with where I am at? Am I in abundance or am I so misled that i have mistaken my “stuff” for blessings? Luke 12:15
My experience might be different from others that have gone through the process, but if I can end on a final note on what I’ve learned, it would be this: if you do something, do it because it glorifies God and brings him the most praise from you. If your motives are to get praise or recognition or to just be in the 1%, your motives are incorrect and the final result will be less than satisfactory. If it’s not for His glory, it won’t be for your good.
Money might be able to buy happiness, but it will not deliver your heart and soul to lasting peace. That can only be found in Christ alone and it is in Him where we will find true riches and eternal treasure.
Comments
Post a Comment