Discipline: Move Forward

 At 3:45 am, I made a choice.

The nagging sound of the alarm on my phone sang its song as it was set to get me out of bed and into my garage where the weights and work awaited me before I had to leave for work at 6:00 am. Not only was it the coldest morning of the year up to that point, but it was a Saturday. I use Saturdays and Sundays as rest days, but this week was different because I missed two days this week due to food poison and a day to recover. Not only was it cold and early on a day that I normally took off, but it was also the dreaded leg day. Nothing was going “as planned” from the start, but I made a choice.

I got up out of bed. Walked across the room. Grabbed my phone. Turned my alarm off. And got back in bed. I made a choice.

Why?

Why would I put the work into getting up, going through the steps of turning my alarm off across the room just to walk back across the room and get in bed? I tossed and turned in that bed for an hour and fifteen minutes without any sight of solid rest. This always happens and for some reason, my mind was convinced it was the answer to all of my problems.

“Just get back in bed. Lay down. You don’t HAVE to work out! C’mon, bro… go get back in that bed and throw the covers over your head and take in the opportunity to relax. You work all the time, JUST CHILL FOR A SECOND!”

Why did I do it?

I made a choice. And that choice was comfort and laziness.

There is no way around this. It wasn’t for the rest because that hour and fifteen minutes was not restful at all. It wasn’t for any type of benefit that I could see, yet my subconscious mind convinced me that it was the most beneficial task at that moment. And that could not be any further from the truth.

Asking “why” is always a great place to start with any of this. The real problem is that we don’t remind ourselves of our “why” when it comes to doing the things we know we need to do. In this particular moment, my “why” for slothfully crashing back into bed outweighed the “why” of working out. I lost sight of the fruit of early morning exercise and discipline that made me feel exponentially better and succumbed to the rotten core of laziness.

I started working out because I deal with depression and anxiety, and the hard work in the gym helps me get my mind right and makes me feel like I accomplished something great at the very beginning of the day. If I have a generally bad day but I started it with a solid work out, I can shut my eyes at night knowing I accomplished something positive. When I wake up and work out I usually have time to take a quick shower and that usually rolls right into a cup of coffee and a time of reading The Word and a quick prayer for the things pressing on my mind at the moment. When I snooze the minutes away, I hop out of bed in a rush and rarely is anything profitable.

This particular morning, not only did I get out of bed late, but I was walking out of my house a little later as well. This led me to opening my garage to look outside at a truck covered in frost that I then had to patiently wait to defrost. Once I jumped into the truck to leave, I welcomed myself to forgetting I needed to get gas or I wouldn’t make it to work. It was a tornado of events where I felt constantly rushed. But a few things did not change.

I may have left my house later than normal, but I have disciplined myself to leaving for work about 25-30 minutes earlier than I need to just in case something happens. Today, EVERYTHING happened. The discipline I have developed of leaving home a little earlier than necessary for work didn’t happen over night. It happened over several months and years, and how did this discipline begin? You got it: I made a choice. 

Discipline is crucial in moments like this. The steady and conscious decisions of doing the same thing every time  in the same situations had a foundation of choices that turned to unmitigated discipline.  I didn’t rely on motivation to leave for work. I wasn’t inspired to get up and leave my house on a day where the temperature was 34 degrees. I got up and left around the same time I always did and it allowed me to play catch up. From the time I left the gas pump and looked at the clock, it was a complete reset of the day.

All of a sudden, it hit me. I was reminded of how imperfect I was, but how I was striving to make changes to be a better steward. In this moment, on this day, I may not have been a great steward of my physical abilities and health, but The Lord has led me down a road to be disciplined in my stewardship of time and dependability. God reminded me of His grace and he reminded me that even in my imperfections, He started a work in me that He intends to see to completion.

This depression and anxiety is no joke and can cause serious mental harm, but God used my imperfections today to remind me of some things. I think of Proverbs 16:9 where it says “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” I planned on getting up and working out and having every little thing work out perfectly, but it would have likely been driven by the flesh and not led by the Spirit. Instead, He led me to the bed where I would wake up and find my way down the road remembering the importance of why I get up and do what I do. Why I work out and why it’s important to battle the demons in my life. Why I value being punctual and why I give myself some time to be a dependable employee. God did all that. My plans were to get up when my alarm went off. His plans were to bring me back to The One that allows me to do those things.

Tomorrow is a new day and His mercy will be renewed as well. Lord willing, you’ll have the ability to make another choice. Building discipline is the act of putting your hand to the plow and walking forward no matter what. If you hit a rock, pick it up and move forward. If the reins on the horse breaks loose, bring the horse back with new reins and move forward. If the sun goes down, go to sleep and wake up get out to the field and move forward.

The work is hard, and your days are short.

Move Forward.